As I have been in Spain a month now, it's time I give an update on how everything is going. I don't think being here has made a difference either way on my health. It took some time to adapt and in that time I did have some really bad moments where I felt that I had gone back on myself to a time that was really very difficult, having fits and needing help with every little thing, but luckily I pulled myself out of it and I am currently doing more or less OK and everything is steady. I am still very unwell but I seem to be staying on one level rather than fluctuating from day to day and not knowing if the next day I will be able to move or not. I think after so long I finally know my limits and you could say I am in a routine.
Being here has had an impact on my mental state though, it has been a much needed break from reality. I had been bedboud for 18 long months and sometimes we just need to get away and give our bodies and minds time to refresh themselves, which I think I have done. It's broken up the tediousness of this illness. Just being able to spend a small amount of the day outside has done me the world of good and the longer days here mean that if I need to sleep for a long time (which is basically everyday) I am still able to feel like I've seen some sunlight (I didn't see much sunlight last winter for that reason) and not slept the whole day away. These small things have broken the cycle.
I took this photo of the sunrise the other morning when I was up all night sick. If a photo could explain my state of mind, this would probably be it.
I have a few more weeks here before I have to head back to England and go back to hospital which I expect will be lots of fun and thrills... I plan on making the most of my time left here, relaxing, rejuvenating and enjoying the time I get to spend with my boyfriend when he's not working. I'm not looking forward to leaving the sun (forever a sun worshipper!) but at least I have been lucky to have this time, and had made enough progress to even get here at all.
If any of my spoonie friends out there have been having a hard time lately I really would recommend a little bit of time spent away. It doesn't have to be far. It's difficult for us for several reasons I know, but if you can work around it I'm sure it will be just what you need to lift your spirits and restore your strength to keep on fighting through everything. I know how overwhelming a life dominated by an illness can be and sometimes it does seem like there is no end.